Sydney Mardi Gras 2004

united grrrr
san fran airport grrrr
red carpet lounge reasonable
stupid us customs and immigration even though i was only in transit grrrr
okay so I arrived late and have vowed never to fly united ever again. seriously it’s no wonder they are in chapter 11 bancruptcy protection.
i had of course forgotten to send jo the flight details and so she was waiting folornly at sydney airport for me having taken her morning conference call on her mobile. bless did I ever mention I loved that girl? she’s a star.
We nipped back to Balmain for a quick brunch (although quite what meal it would be for me i’m not really sure) at Jo’s favourite local cafe and i was lusting after the cook/server immediately. welcome to sydney :o)
Whilst Jo rushed to work to catch up on the morning i had made her miss i pottered around Balmain and acclimatised to the sudden onset of summer (although Jo and Michelle kept telling me it had cooled down)
That evening we headed out for food and drinks with Jo’s work mates before heading into town and started where I left off last year at Crown and Oxford for drinks at the Colombian. I really do think it’s my favourite bar, it’s friendly and full of cute guys.
Jo had said she bet me $5 that I would pull within the first 24 hours sadly despite the horny guys I knew better as I had come less than single this year.
So I crashed and burned (jetlag) fairly soon afterwards and we headed back to Balmain for some much needed sleep in a lovely flat bed.
Saturday we hit bondi after a garage sale to get rid of a few extra sofa’s since the girls were moving to Darlinghurst the following weekend (yes to two blocks down from taylor square on the day of mardi gras).
So after some sun and fun in bondi we headed back for another meal out (i’m convinced no one eats in or cooks for themselves in oz) and then more drinks.
On the way back we stopped for pizza in paddington and realised we had completely forgotten about shop! damn so I had missed herb and the boys in drag for the second year in a row.
Sunday was the build up to harbour party (azure) and then after arriving at the party a bit of a blur of retro music including Celine Dion – I drove all night, Barry Manilow – Love is in the air and Randy Crawford – One day I’ll fly away. All very very surreal and yet we danced to all of them. Also bumped into Tony and the boys from last years harbour party but missed Bettina and Margi. All in all a very fun afternoon/evening marred only by the guys asking to borrow a crack pipe at the end of the evening – like do we look like we smoke crack? Next year we have decided just to hire a yaught and moor off the party like the other beautiful sydneysiders who had failed to get tickets had done.
So without any of the after parties or other fun of last year (fnar) we headed back to Balmain for some hard earned rest.
Monday I managed to wander around Balmain and do some mundane grocery shopping and the like, although it seems much more glam to be doing it in Balmain than Balham. Also a quick trip into town to ensure I remmebered the bus route for when the kiwi boys arrived.
Monday night was spent in front of the TV with popcorn and the Oscars. Noozleland sweeped the board and we were dreading the kiwi’s arrival by this point. When the nice australian man Adam Elliot won his and thanked his beautiful boyfriend Dan we all laughed heartily. It’s amazing the storm in some of the papers caused by that the following day. As Mr Elliot pointed out everyone else was thanking their wives and partners why should he be any different?
Tuesday was another trip into Sydney for relaxed shopping and coffees whilst trying to catch up with Gary from Christchurch who was over for a conference for the start of the week. Failing to catch up with him I returned to Balmain. A few cosmo’s later and Michelle and I were more than a little merry. By the time Jo got home we were watching ‘The Bill’ and giggling so we decided food would be a good idea and went for a meal in Balmain. Another bottle of wine later we were all more than merry and stopped for ice cream at Gelatisimo where the two boys behind the counter made a play for one (or all) of us we weren’t quite sure. Neither of them was over 18 though so none of us were that fussed.
Wednesday was the arrival of Dave from Wellington. So after a wander around town and a coffee or two we checked into the lovely Macquarie Hotel. Tanya the lovely lady from accommodation however had some bad news in that the wonders of internet bookings and real systems did not match up and we may not have a room for the entire period. Not good when I was trying to stay out of the girls way pending their move to Bourke Street. Still not to worry. We figured we could wing it with friends if we got really stuck.
Staying centrally meant we had plenty of time to wander up and down Oxford St and Pitt St without the hassle of a bus ride or train journey in.
So after meeting up with Dave we ended up at circular quay for a brief sunbathe and to soak up some of the view. You still can’t beat the view of the Opera House and the Harbour Bridge. It’s one of the best sights and most recognisable too.
Thursday was Pam Ann and the Imperial Having seen her on a tiny stage in the corner of the 2 Brewers it was quite a shock. She had an entire stage to herself and a group of dancing boys :o) She was also sponsored up to the preverbial hilt. We followed the show with a trip to The Imperial where the boys watched dodgy caberet in the back bar and I caught up with Bettina and Margy in the front bar.
Friday was… wagamama?
The day of Mardi Gras arrived and Gary and I wandered into town despite the rain. We headed over to Jo’s new pad to see the place. They were moving in so we helped a bit and dried off. Then wandered for beers to The Colombian. We made some new friends and got merry. A few beers later and we got frisky (but not as bad as last year. We went back to the hotel to get showered and changed before heading back up the road. Our new mates were shocked to see us back so soon – they expected us to be shagging or something 😉
Then we met the others at Daves cousins new pad conveniently located above Starbucks on Oxford St a few paces from our favourite bar! The rain was torrential but we ventured with others to the roof terrace to watch the parade every now and then instead of out the window. Talk about rain on the parade!
Back to the hotel for another change and then hailing a cab (you would think that was easy but oh no…) before the maddness that is Sydney Lesbian & Gay Mardi Gras.
More to come.

Sunday – Thursday

Well the last few days have certainly included a lot of alcohol – in fact more alcohol than is possibly good for me.
Sunday saw Scally, Dave and myself in Clapham for dinner then the 2 Brewers to catch Pam Ann’s show – we were joined later by Paul and Dave [ensued a dodgy introduction of Dave meet Dave and erm, Dave].
Pam Ann was on top form, dragging a not especially reluctant Paul up on stage and removing his top, certain members of the group had to check their jaws for bruises as they picked them up off the floor 😉 Not too much alcohol involved due to the sewers being short staffed and the bar being packed.
Monday saw wine at home with other friends and Tuesday saw impromptu drinks after work for Janice’s Birthday which was supposed to be a preamble to the pop quiz but ended up much later with Reindeer Skins and Leather Sofa’s and talk of the Ice Hotel. Sadly this left Dave on his own for the quiz.
Last night saw dinner at mine with Spence, Glenn and Andrew before heading off to the ABV bar in Streatham to drink even more.
Seeing Jacs tonight for drinks too and a busy weekend planned so it looks like no rest for me – I shall not complain though 😉 I’ve done enough of that recently and besides I am still on holiday – honest!

*LONG UPDATE ALERT* (from Sydney)

*LONG UPDATE ALERT*
My eyes started to feel much better by Tuesday night so I put my glasses on and went into Oxford St to meet Brad and the gang at The Albury to watch Pam Ann. Unfortunately the rest of sydney’s gay population seem to have had the same idea so there was already a line at 9pm and they where not letting anyone else in. So Brad and I decided to go for drinks in the bar next door – soon it too was packed and we went for a wander with the others in search of pizza.
Brad gave me a lift back to Redfern where I am staying which was nice – he really is much better off now he has moved back to Oz than he ever was in London.
Wednesday was mostly a shopping day – with an outfit to find for the Mardi Gras float we trolled up and down Oxford Street. We had already seen some trousers in Daily Male which are a bit sparkly [and very silver] but had to go check out the competition. An awful lot of the shops look like all they seel is outfits for Mardi Gras – either that or the Sydney scene is normally much camper than the London scene
After all that shopping we ended up at Cafe Comity for a well earned rest and drink – this country is so civilised – not quite so much as Singapore but…
In order that we did not spend the entire day shopping I dragged scally up the AMP Centrepoint Tower for some tourist sight seeing – he is too wuss to do the harbour bridge walk with me :o( something about being scared of heights. So as part of our centrepoint ticket – bearing in mind all we anted to do was go up and have a look at Sydney we got a ‘skytour’ thrown in. Talk about tourist trap aghhhhh. Okay so how many little films can you watch about australian history before you become tempted to throw yourself off the tower – should you ever make it up there.
We wandered around this ‘guided’ tour for what seemed like hours before we finally made it up the tower itself. The views though where well worth it – and I recommend anyone visiting makes a trip up. Sort of like the twin trade towers or the empire state in New York really.
Wednesday night was Barbeque night *lol* no really though Bettina, Linda and Margy had the barbie all fired up and raring to go – the steak was fantastic and the beers went down a treat too. Ice Poles for desert and hey presto I could have been a local [except when I went to the bottle shop for beers he automatically handed me Fosters]
Thursday was one of those mornings – well actually it stretched into the afternoon but in general we all sat and watched trashy daytime TV [which is as bad in Oz as anywhere else] and then watched the channel seven daytime movie – really trashy one about a ranger searching for some lost kid with the woman from terminator showing as little acting skill as possible yet again. Scarily it had the same terminatoresque voice overs too.
Okay so then we spray painted the $13 trainers silver to match the sparkly trousers and went off to do some more touristy stuff! I dragged scally to the Opera House which was looking a bit jaded actually. Looks fantastic from afar but when you get up close it reminds me of the Civic Centre where I grew up in Crosby. You know the sort of thing a concrete communal space with a concert hal and library with unfinished concrete walls and stairwells and dark wooden finishings here and there for effect. Allegedly the Opera House is due for a refurbishment which will be good. I never realised though that the entire thing is tiled!
So a bit more shopping followed this tourist extravaganza and we picked up a sparkly black shirt to go with the sparkly silver trousers. Oh and lots of body glitter and a couple of stetsons. In for a penny and al that! Oh and then suprise suprise it was time for yet another party. Thursday night being the Arrivals Party – a good excuse to get all the foreigners in one place. We met up at the Oxford first and then went to flag a taxi to Fox studios [seems to be the place to have all your Lesbian & Gay events] were we met Daniel a rather nice American whom we chatted to for most of the evening. The music was pants but that didn’t stop me having fun and it was after 4am before I knew it – so staggered back home around 5am this morning.
Off now into town to go and see if I can change my flights and stop over in Singapore for a couple of days on my way back – my neice is missing me already!
Also caught up with a few people today – chatted with Adam a friend of Spencer’s whom I am meeting tonight for a meal with his partner and also Jo my friend who moved out here recently and chatted to Andre who works for AOL out here – I realy want a job out here [No Sheena I am not joking]. So erm the next update will no doubt be after the parade and party so Happy Mardi Gras 2001 and look out for the Albion Street Centre 2001 a safe sex oddessey float and the two sparkly english boys handing out packs of condoms and lube 😉
*/LONG UPDATE ALERT*

WARNING: long post (from Sydney)

WARNING: long post
Okay well today is Tuesday and it has been non stop partying since arriving in Sydney on Friday night.
Bettina who I am staying with [and her sister Linda] is wonderful and so generous. She picked me up from the airport and took me out into town after dropping my bags off at their house. We ended up at the Imperial after a troll down Oxford street. The Imperial is the bar in Priscilla Queen of the Desert where they start out from. It is a wierd mix of small bars and a club area downstairs but not a place I would recommend highly.
Saturday B and her lovely other half Margi took me to Bondi for breakfast and then tried to show me how to body surf – I was not very successful I must admit . Followed by a trip to the shops. It was ‘Shop yourself Stupid’ a charity shop-a-thon here in Sydney for AIDS charities. So lots of shows, drag artists and the like on street corners and on the back of trucks. Ooh and a cute boy in a shower cubicle on Oxford Street doing a bit of dancing with not much on. Bought a nice new shirt with Velcro fastening which went down very welll that night when I met up with David and we went out for drinks with Kim and Matt. We got stupidly drunk – well actually the four of them where stupidly drunk when I arrived at Scally’s hotel room and I just played catch up.
Matt, Scally and I then ended up at Oxford street and eventually I headed off home.
Sunday I was not too well – a bit of a cold – I know how do you get a cold in sunny Sydney? Anyways stayed in bed for a bit with Max the cat and then got up and helped Bettina with her hair. Margi had started it with strips of blue fabric. Linda and I then had a rethink and did Bjork style bunches with the blue lame? [shiny blue stuff]. It looked fantastic but I do not think I will be opening a salon in the near future!
They managed to source an extra ticket to the Harbour Party – a very difficult thing to do by all accounts as tickets had long since sold out and the lines to actually buy them in the first place had started at midnight the day before they went on sale.
On our way to the party a car pulled up and a guy came up to us looking puzzled and then decided he did not recognise me. It turned out he did I had just had my hair shaved and was wearing my contacts. Brad I used to know in London – he went out with a friend of mine [James] – I thought he was living in Adelaide so had not bothered trying to contact him for the trip. Turns out he is living in Sydney and was on his way back from the airport – he now works as a trolley dolley for Ansett! He was also going to the harbour party so we arranged to meet up and catch up later – wierd co-incidence or what?
So I ended up having a fantastic night – overlooking the opera house and the harbour bridge with 3,500 assorted fags and dykes partying under the stars. It was truly wonderful. I cannot thank the girls enough or Brad for that matter
Seeing Brad was realy wierd – I will be posting that one to Meg‘s Strangely Familiar site when I return!
Yesterday was another lazy day really – went on the farry across to Manly with Scally and had loads of fun in the sun – after a quick meet up with Kier and Liam who are also over. Then went back and got changed and over to scally’s hotel again. Met Fran – yes another of the London crowd who is over for Mardi Gras and went out for Dinner and drinks. Scally and I ended up at Stonewall where he pulled within minutes and I danced myself to exhaustion on the podium [no change there for me then].
Woke up with swollen sore eyes and had to take a trip to the doctors – I have an opthalmic bacterial pathogen so am on antibiotics. Was supposed to be meeting with Brad today but have decided to stay in the garden instead and read. Then will meet up later at the Albury to see Pam Ann. We usually see her in the 2 brewers at home so it will be wierd to see her in her home town ofr a change – she has flown over for a one off Mardi Gras Special.
Scally and I need to sort out costumes for Mardi Gras too as Margi has arranged for us to be on the 2001: a sex oddessey float. So we will be participating instead of spectating – can’t wait. Hope my eyes are better by then.
Also gonna try and change my flights on the way back to spend some more time in Singapore and catch up with Naz.
Sorry for the extremely long update today but I have been busy enjoying myself offline for a change
Happy Happy Happy – and so blissed out it is untrue – I wanna move to sydney woo hoo.
local time of post – 12:46 – lunchtime – and hot as hell

Went to the 2 brewers

Went to the 2 brewers last night [well we went to kazbar too but then moved on] where Pam Ann was on stage. Unfortunately so was I. Pam’s act is a skit on AIr stewards and airlines and must be seen to be believed. However she does a good line in audience participation. I was dragged up on stage to do some percussion accompianment with a plastic teddy bear tambourine. The one saving grace was that als dragged up on stage was an oz sheila called Kelly. Her freind Louisa was also brought into the action and we bonded later post show humiliation style. Granted I had no tampons removed from my clutch bag and displayed to the entire pub! So it looks like our search for a new fag hag is over! We did a quick number exchange after getting some gossip on Pam. She too hails from down under and is well known to our new found friends Louisa and Kelly.